Actual Notes on Hospital Charts (not ours).
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
18. Skin: somewhat pale. but present.
19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
20. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room
21. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
22. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
23. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
24. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.