Eye Care & Surgery Center NJ Bladeless LASIK Laser Cataract Surgeon Blog

Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Chuckle a Day

A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!

Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Winner of our Pie Baking Contest

Congratulations to one of our technicians Brittany who was named the 2010 ECSC Pie Baking Champion for her Blackberry Pie Cobbler with leaf-shaped crust. Absolutely delicious. Our Runner-up was our Clinical Manager Elisa with her creative Key lime and Coconut Cream pie combo. The homemade crust was sinfully good. Honorable mention went to another of our outstanding technicians, Kimmy for her Coconut cream pie with toasted coconut on top and creamy as could be.

Chuckle-a-Day:
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, whispering to the mechanic....."Try doing it with the engine running!"

Friday, October 22, 2010

Allergy Eyes

With leaves decomposing, there are plenty of allergens in the air making your eyes feel itchy. Couple that with forced hot air and you have DRY, itchy eyes. Some people take lubricating drops to address both issues, others take allergy drops. the truth is, neither will take care of both issues. For itchy eyes you most likely will need an over-the-counter, allergy drop. However, a lot of those drops can actually dry out the eyes. So, you need the combination of allergy drops AND lubricating drops or artificial tears to take care of both situations.

Today's Humor:
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

Well, said the Director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.

Oh, I understand, said the visitor.

A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

No said the Director, A normal person would pull the plug out.

Do you want a bed near the window?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Today's Humor

Actual Notes on Hospital Charts (not ours).

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

18. Skin: somewhat pale. but present.

19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

20. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room

21. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

22. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

23. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

24. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Joke of the Day

Start your day off with a chuckle. Check out the ECSC Blog each morning for our good humored "joke of the day". Here is today's giggle:

A bullied husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," she said. "Go home and show her you're the boss."

The husband decided to take the doctor's advice.

He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?"

"I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

Thursday, October 14, 2010

LASIK SAVES You Money

The average contact lens wearer will spend between $9000 - $15,000.00 over a 20 year period of lens wear. The research was based on standard contact lenses, not specialty lenses, solutions, replacements, exams and fittings associated with contact lenses.
LASIK puts money back in your pocket. Even with the cost related to the procedure, the net result for most contact lens patients is a HUGE cost savings, not to mention the enjoyment factor of not being limited to certain activities because of your lenses.
Times are tough, why not save precious dollars where you can?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Pie Baking Contest

ECSC holding it's 2nd Annual Pie Baking contest. All of our employees, management and docs are welcome to enter their most delectible dessert. Stay tuned to find out the winner on October 28th!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Flexible Spending Pays for LASIK

It's FSA time.Before you fund your Flexible Spending Account, find out if you are a candidate. If you prefund and are do not qualify for LASIK, you may lose the money. Use it or lose it in FSA Land. Call for a consultation before your enrollment period closes to find out if it makes sense to fund for 2011.